Beinge transgender is one of the first topics we've covered in this class, and as it happens I think I've met the first transgender I've actually become close to. I started working as a temp for a child care center a couple weeks ago and me and her work in the same office. At first, it never crossed my mind. What first brought it to my attention was the language she uses. She uses the words bro, dude, and son (slang term) a lot. Then after a few days I began to notice some of her features; very small facial hair stubs around her mouth, more arm hair than is normal on females, and strong body structure. As the days still go on I feel myself becoming more convinced that she is a male-to-female. A couple days ago, the questions started popping into my head; "Will there ever be a time where I can just ask her?" "How would she react?" Does she suspect that I'm wondering certain things about her?"
I personally don't mind either way. No matter what her situation is I'll always view her as a female. It's more of a matter of being curious; I feel like I have to know everything that's going on, especially around me. If we are going to be working together for an extended period of time and we have already built a rapport, I feel like it's something I'm going to wind up asking somewhere along the road. When is the right time though, if there is one? Should I just wait until she's comfortable enough to bring it up herself? Do other people I work with know? Should I just ask one of them if she's ever brought it up?
I actually felt a little weird around her once I began thinking about it. I felt like saying the wrong things around her might make her feel uncomfortable. We were talking about shows on MTV one day, for example. We began talking about the last Real World season, which happened to have a transgender as one of the roommates. I just began talking about the people on the show and I was thinking about bringing this particular person up at one point. On one hand, I guess I was trying to get a reaction out of her to see if she gave any hints away. I decided not to though, feeling like possible 'putting her on the spot' might not be the right move.
Either way, meeting her has definitely opened my mind a little bit. I'm not going to lie and say I never looked at people like that and thought they were freaks and something was wrong with them. On the other hand, even though I'm almost positive she is transgender, this could all be in my head and my lack of experience around people like that are just putting thoughts in my head. This isn't just a moment I'm sharing, but I'm also wondering if anyone could possibly give me feedback as to how to deal with a situation like this. Worst case scenario, I never find out and we maintain the same friendship we;ve built, which has been a good one.
