Thursday, June 25, 2009
Response to Chris
That kind of reminds me about the time I got cracked on by my friends because I helped my girlfriend make cupcakes for her nephew's party. Instead of being viewed as a bigger man for spending time with my girl and helping the cause, all the guys had jokes. Some people don't get it I guess. I like to think of these actions as being more of a man though since we are able to not even think twice about what people may say. I think I got this trait from my dad since him and my mom split cooking during the week evenly, so I was raised to think there's no problem with men in the kitchen. It'll probably still be a while for people to catch on but there's definitely nothing wrong with bringing in a cake to show someone support. Good job bro!
Final Blog
This one is humerous (in a way). My friend just started going out with this girl. They both are the same age and have jobs; my friend works customer service at a bank and his girlfriend just became a registered nurse. She makes a considerable amount more than him per paycheck and has alot more money saved up. Naturally, she sometimes has to pay for him when they go out. He'll even make jokes about it how if he needs something but doesn't have money he can just ask "wifey". Us 3 and a couple more people planned a trip to Ecuador in August and she even paid for his plane ticket.
This brings up the old "who wears the pants in the family" issue. It's also shown how it is now possible for women to be the breadwinner in a relationship. Even though this may change since he recently graduated and is looking for a better job now, their status now may have people to believe that she is in charge. In actuality, they view each other as equalsand make all their decisions together. Even though he's promised to pay her back everything she's given him, chances are knowing her she won't let him.
This also presents other questioning issues. It's still pretty natural for people to feel that money means success (no matter what people may say); there are definitely still women target men who are rich, even if they are themselves financially stable. I think this somehow stereotypes the old school thoughts of how women are dependent on men. However, I think the standard of choosing love over money is getting stronger now, especially with how far women movements have come over the years. It's also starting to show that men are starting to adjust to this fact and realizing money isn't everything.
I think this is convenient for the last week because it's showing the advancement of both genders, which is what I think this class is meant to teach us. I think equality is slowly but surely being reached
This brings up the old "who wears the pants in the family" issue. It's also shown how it is now possible for women to be the breadwinner in a relationship. Even though this may change since he recently graduated and is looking for a better job now, their status now may have people to believe that she is in charge. In actuality, they view each other as equalsand make all their decisions together. Even though he's promised to pay her back everything she's given him, chances are knowing her she won't let him.
This also presents other questioning issues. It's still pretty natural for people to feel that money means success (no matter what people may say); there are definitely still women target men who are rich, even if they are themselves financially stable. I think this somehow stereotypes the old school thoughts of how women are dependent on men. However, I think the standard of choosing love over money is getting stronger now, especially with how far women movements have come over the years. It's also starting to show that men are starting to adjust to this fact and realizing money isn't everything.
I think this is convenient for the last week because it's showing the advancement of both genders, which is what I think this class is meant to teach us. I think equality is slowly but surely being reached
Friday, June 19, 2009
Response to Ashley: Week 5
You know what, I would definitely agree with you on this one because at my temp job, I'm the only man in the office and I'm always the one they call on when there are deliveries that have to be brought in or if there are heavy boxes that need to be moved. They crack jokes about it to; I think it's funny also. At the same time though, I feel they could definitely do this type of work. There's at least 15 woman in my office so they could at least chip in; maybe if it takes only two or three of them to help each other move certain things it would help me alot. It's not really a big deal to me, but I just thought it was convenient you brought this issue up
Week 5 Blog
I was watching an episode of Law & Order: SVU that was about a man who accused 3 women of raping him; a case I've personally never heard of. The back story was that no one believed him since the women were attractiveand he was only trying to draw attention to himself. He was working as a stripper for one of the woman's bachelor party, which further complocated the issue.
I found this interesting because if you think about it, men can be raped, even if evidence may point against it. One of these exibits were that the man in the episode was 6'0'' 170 lbs and could've easily overpowered the women. I think though that sometimes men are hesitant to use physical force against a woman who maybe be approaching them without consent. He also was raised with 5 sisters which made it believable that he may act less physical towards women than other men. Another issue which got tangled in was that the man eventually climaxed while the rape was happening. The answer for this one was that it's scientifically proven that men tend to become aroused and sometimes have orgasms even when sex isn't consentual on their part.
Cases like this rarely happen, if ever. It's always assumed (I would guess) that when rape is discussed it's a man who forces a woman to perform sexual acts on him. Maybe it's because society believes that men prefer sex more than men. I think the effects can be the same however. There is always the chance of STD's being passed or pregnancy occuring. Also, I think people would believe that it may be easier for a man to get over being raped than it would be for a woman. Rape is something that can stick with a woman for the rest of her life and keep her in fear. Would this be the same for a man though? I'm interested in hearing feedback
I found this interesting because if you think about it, men can be raped, even if evidence may point against it. One of these exibits were that the man in the episode was 6'0'' 170 lbs and could've easily overpowered the women. I think though that sometimes men are hesitant to use physical force against a woman who maybe be approaching them without consent. He also was raised with 5 sisters which made it believable that he may act less physical towards women than other men. Another issue which got tangled in was that the man eventually climaxed while the rape was happening. The answer for this one was that it's scientifically proven that men tend to become aroused and sometimes have orgasms even when sex isn't consentual on their part.
Cases like this rarely happen, if ever. It's always assumed (I would guess) that when rape is discussed it's a man who forces a woman to perform sexual acts on him. Maybe it's because society believes that men prefer sex more than men. I think the effects can be the same however. There is always the chance of STD's being passed or pregnancy occuring. Also, I think people would believe that it may be easier for a man to get over being raped than it would be for a woman. Rape is something that can stick with a woman for the rest of her life and keep her in fear. Would this be the same for a man though? I'm interested in hearing feedback
Friday, June 12, 2009
Response to Week 4 Blog
Ed Johnson said...
This is a good one. I've seen your case happen a bunch of times; my friend's current girlfriend had the exact same situation happen to her with this guy she knew; but he was 36 and she was 19, so that made it a little weird.I really think even this situation can turn into 2 people still remaining friends; I think it depends on the person who has romantic feelings keeping them in check (that is if he's really interested in keeping this person in his life). Some poeple just don't get it though and will constantly persue; if this was the case then you were smart for switching departments. You probably weren't meant to be friends in the first place. I've even had relationships or crushes that wound up turning into friendships, so it is possible. It depends on who you're dealing with. I understand that some of my female friends that I think are hot don't return the favor, and I can accept that. They're too important in my life for me to lose them though. I know it's tough too since you need to know a person for a while to know what they're really about and I can't tell you how to live, but I wouldn't say just give up on having male friends, because not every man's the same. It is possible, and I've got a bunch of examples to back me up
June 12, 2009 3:55 PM
This is a good one. I've seen your case happen a bunch of times; my friend's current girlfriend had the exact same situation happen to her with this guy she knew; but he was 36 and she was 19, so that made it a little weird.I really think even this situation can turn into 2 people still remaining friends; I think it depends on the person who has romantic feelings keeping them in check (that is if he's really interested in keeping this person in his life). Some poeple just don't get it though and will constantly persue; if this was the case then you were smart for switching departments. You probably weren't meant to be friends in the first place. I've even had relationships or crushes that wound up turning into friendships, so it is possible. It depends on who you're dealing with. I understand that some of my female friends that I think are hot don't return the favor, and I can accept that. They're too important in my life for me to lose them though. I know it's tough too since you need to know a person for a while to know what they're really about and I can't tell you how to live, but I wouldn't say just give up on having male friends, because not every man's the same. It is possible, and I've got a bunch of examples to back me up
June 12, 2009 3:55 PM
Week 4 Blog
So me and some of my friends went down to the park to play basketball the other day and I saw my brother already there playing a full court game: there were 9 guys and 1 girl playing, all around the same age. So before we start playing on the other court we watch the game my brother's in. I recognize that the girl playing is Asia Jenkins, who played high school ball for Piscataway and wound up getting a full ride to Cincinatti but stopped playing organized ball for some reason; but obviously, she knew how to play. She was pretty much running the game; my brother, who was guarding her, could not stop her.
I don't think anyone who was playing knew who she was, because they were stunned that she was so much better than everyone else who was playing. Anyway, what it came down to after they played a few games and her leaving was everyone dissing my brother for getting handled by a female in basketball. I tried telling everyone that she's a legit player, but it was like no one could grab a hold of this concept.
I think this some how ties in to men sometimes joking about how woman's sports aren't taken as seriously as men's sports, which I sometimes am guilty of. I can get into women's sports sometimes though if it's a close game that's on or if it's a championship or other important game. Ialso can grasp that some woman can beat some men at sports, especially women who train all year around or played for an organized team; they are obviously going to have more skill than some men.
Granted, I don't think the greatest female basketball player in the world could be anywhere near as good as a Lebron James or a Kobe Bryant, but there are going to be cases where woman are better athletes than men, and men really shouldn't feel threatened by it.
I don't think anyone who was playing knew who she was, because they were stunned that she was so much better than everyone else who was playing. Anyway, what it came down to after they played a few games and her leaving was everyone dissing my brother for getting handled by a female in basketball. I tried telling everyone that she's a legit player, but it was like no one could grab a hold of this concept.
I think this some how ties in to men sometimes joking about how woman's sports aren't taken as seriously as men's sports, which I sometimes am guilty of. I can get into women's sports sometimes though if it's a close game that's on or if it's a championship or other important game. Ialso can grasp that some woman can beat some men at sports, especially women who train all year around or played for an organized team; they are obviously going to have more skill than some men.
Granted, I don't think the greatest female basketball player in the world could be anywhere near as good as a Lebron James or a Kobe Bryant, but there are going to be cases where woman are better athletes than men, and men really shouldn't feel threatened by it.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Week 2 Blog
Beinge transgender is one of the first topics we've covered in this class, and as it happens I think I've met the first transgender I've actually become close to. I started working as a temp for a child care center a couple weeks ago and me and her work in the same office. At first, it never crossed my mind. What first brought it to my attention was the language she uses. She uses the words bro, dude, and son (slang term) a lot. Then after a few days I began to notice some of her features; very small facial hair stubs around her mouth, more arm hair than is normal on females, and strong body structure. As the days still go on I feel myself becoming more convinced that she is a male-to-female. A couple days ago, the questions started popping into my head; "Will there ever be a time where I can just ask her?" "How would she react?" Does she suspect that I'm wondering certain things about her?"
I personally don't mind either way. No matter what her situation is I'll always view her as a female. It's more of a matter of being curious; I feel like I have to know everything that's going on, especially around me. If we are going to be working together for an extended period of time and we have already built a rapport, I feel like it's something I'm going to wind up asking somewhere along the road. When is the right time though, if there is one? Should I just wait until she's comfortable enough to bring it up herself? Do other people I work with know? Should I just ask one of them if she's ever brought it up?
I actually felt a little weird around her once I began thinking about it. I felt like saying the wrong things around her might make her feel uncomfortable. We were talking about shows on MTV one day, for example. We began talking about the last Real World season, which happened to have a transgender as one of the roommates. I just began talking about the people on the show and I was thinking about bringing this particular person up at one point. On one hand, I guess I was trying to get a reaction out of her to see if she gave any hints away. I decided not to though, feeling like possible 'putting her on the spot' might not be the right move.
Either way, meeting her has definitely opened my mind a little bit. I'm not going to lie and say I never looked at people like that and thought they were freaks and something was wrong with them. On the other hand, even though I'm almost positive she is transgender, this could all be in my head and my lack of experience around people like that are just putting thoughts in my head. This isn't just a moment I'm sharing, but I'm also wondering if anyone could possibly give me feedback as to how to deal with a situation like this. Worst case scenario, I never find out and we maintain the same friendship we;ve built, which has been a good one.
I personally don't mind either way. No matter what her situation is I'll always view her as a female. It's more of a matter of being curious; I feel like I have to know everything that's going on, especially around me. If we are going to be working together for an extended period of time and we have already built a rapport, I feel like it's something I'm going to wind up asking somewhere along the road. When is the right time though, if there is one? Should I just wait until she's comfortable enough to bring it up herself? Do other people I work with know? Should I just ask one of them if she's ever brought it up?
I actually felt a little weird around her once I began thinking about it. I felt like saying the wrong things around her might make her feel uncomfortable. We were talking about shows on MTV one day, for example. We began talking about the last Real World season, which happened to have a transgender as one of the roommates. I just began talking about the people on the show and I was thinking about bringing this particular person up at one point. On one hand, I guess I was trying to get a reaction out of her to see if she gave any hints away. I decided not to though, feeling like possible 'putting her on the spot' might not be the right move.
Either way, meeting her has definitely opened my mind a little bit. I'm not going to lie and say I never looked at people like that and thought they were freaks and something was wrong with them. On the other hand, even though I'm almost positive she is transgender, this could all be in my head and my lack of experience around people like that are just putting thoughts in my head. This isn't just a moment I'm sharing, but I'm also wondering if anyone could possibly give me feedback as to how to deal with a situation like this. Worst case scenario, I never find out and we maintain the same friendship we;ve built, which has been a good one.
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